My name is Shavonna Nicole, passionate Self-Love Development Coach. I find it interesting that my name means "God is gracious and admired one." However, when I was in my toxic relationship I felt everything but that. On the outside I may have looked good, I had my career, I had friends...but on the inside I felt sad, angry, disrespected, depressed, less than and just plain unloved by the one person that I loved so much.
I had put so much love, energy, time, loyalty and dedication into my relationship and yet I felt so unappreciated. He was so narcissistic, and would say things to try and devalue me. He would criticize my work, say I didn't have a life outside of him, compare me to other women and was just flat out disrespectful. I never felt like I was enough and I got to the point where I found myself constantly trying to prove my worth to him.
After all my hard work, prayers and trying to make it work, one day he just woke up and said that he didn't know if he still wanted to be with me, and that he'd let me know at some point what his decision would be. To be completely honest, I cried and I pleaded...he was unmoved. It took lots of break ups, heart aches, moving out and separating, and then moving back and separating again before I FINALLY woke up.
I was finally fed up with the emotional roller coaster. Fed up with not being a priority in his life, shoot - I wasn't even a priority in my own life. I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize the person I'd become. When did it become ok for someone to treat me less than? When did I become so desparate that I'd stay with someone - over 10 years who I knew was toxic out of the fear of being alone, embarrassed, or even just the fear of losing?
I had had enough and began to fix things. But this time I didn't try to fix things with him, I fixed things with myself. I was honest with myself and admitted that I had allowed this abuse because I truly didn't love myself enough to put a stop to it. When I began to focus on me and take the focus off of what he was or wasn't doing - EVERYTHING began to fall into place. I got OFF THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER! When I stepped off, I looked in the mirror and smiled at the person I saw, and with so much clarity and peace of mind I could honestly say "I'm good." I was done with the drama, the lies, the crying, the games, all of it.
My background as Therapist and Certified Domestic Violence Professional helped me in creating the Self-Love Declaration Method. This method has not only helped myself, but all the clients I've worked with to rid their lives of toxicity by reclaiming their self-worth. They've learned how to step off that emotional roller coaster and stay off for good.
It has truly been one of the best gifts to myself, as I can truly say I now know my self-worth and how to be happy - and it's not something I'm willing to let anyone else interfere with.
Allow me to share with you my Self-Love Declaration method so you can save yourself years (hopefully not over a decade like me) of heartache and pain and experience the incredibly rewarding journey of loving yourself better than anyone else can. Let me help you remember that you're a boss chic, who's phenomenal on the inside and out and deserves to be loved and treated with respect and no one else deserves to treat you less than that!